Ever since Esther first finds out about Buddy, she thinks that is it really important for her to have sex. She separates the world into two categories: those who had had sex, and those who have not. She doesn’t feel better after it’s happened because of her injury, but she definitely feels different. She says that after having sex she waited for the miraculous change to occur. “I wanted to ask him if I was still a virgin… The blood was my answer. I couldn’t possibly be a virgin any more. I smiled into the dark. I felt part of a great tradition.” (pg. 229) Esther has finally crossed the line into the experienced category. It is not the kind of transformation that she expects though. But she feels relieved to get rid of her virginity. She doesn’t have to worry about it anymore.
However, while she is having sex with Irwin she is in a great deal of pain and afterwards she bleeds so much she has to go to the emergency room.
Esther thought that the first man she ever slept with must be intelligent and respectable. She also wanted someone experienced to make up for her lack of experience. Esther says that ever since she found out about Buddy, her virginity “weighed like a millstone around my neck.” Irwin was just a random man who qualified and who also didn’t have any connections to her. He didn’t really mean anything to her.
The Bell Jar
2 comments:
Erica great blog! You really addressed the question well! You said that Esther categorized people into virgins and non virgins and you said how she wanted to have sex with Irwin because of this and you were right! Thats what I said too. You were right about Irwin and i thought your blog was very stimulating.
hey Erica! Your blog was unique in that you had quoted and drawn connections from the book that not everybody had. I didn't quite get that Esther wasn't looking for a relationship, but now that I think about it, I can definietley see your point of view and can agree with you.
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